Divorced Men

Divorced Men Coping with Loneliness and Alcohol

Many divorced men will find themselves very lonely after a divorce and perhaps on the verge of alcoholism.   This will feed on itself as the loneliness increases the drinking and the drinking increases the Read more »

Top 10 Myths of Divorce

Men, when you are contemplating divorce you will here a lot of crap about divorce that is probably untrue.  We all have our reasons for divorcing and this blog is not about if it is right or wrong.  But men should know the facts about divorce overall when deciding what to do or how to handle it.  Here are the facts based on a long term study by a top university.  Even though it was from a divorce study in 2001 I am sure it is applicable in 2008 also.  Read more »

The Latest On Women Paying Men Alimony

The latest statistics show that about 10 percent of divorcing women now have to pay alimony to their husbands (manimony).  They wanted to be equal and they got it!  More and more women are making a higher salary than their husbands and more and more husbands are doing the majority of raising the kids.  I know I made about the same as my ex-wife but I did a slight majority of child rearing (meaning I was home alone with them more taking care of basic daily needs).

But, with alimony, it boils down to simple math, the person who earns the most has to pay the most.  All states have some sort of calculation in determining child support and Read more »

Divorced Men Prioritizing Between Girlfriend and Children

Many times it is hard for a divorced man to understand how to prioritize his actions with a new girlfriend and with his children. Which one comes first in various situations?  This is certainly one of the most complex items arising from a divorce.  Probably the largest conflict arising between a divorced man with kids and his new girlfriend is how they all interact with one another.  For this post we are assuming that the children do not live with the divorced man.

Some divorced men have the attitude that the children always come first no matter what.  Others almost ignore the children and pay all the attention to the new girlfriend.  Is one of Read more »

Arguing - Men Think Differently than Women

In the pre-divorce stages and soon after the divorce, there may be many arguments with your spouse.  The problem that men have is that they are not usually as good at arguing as women are.  This does not mean men are mentally weaker, but simply that they are not built to live in that kind of environment. 

If you have noticed in the workplace, females almost always argue much more than men do, as men tend to have a more rational thinking process that makes them more willing to both compromise and avoid arguments as quickly as possible.  Organizations composed exclusively of women usually have a harder time with managing than an organization that has at least a few men.  These differences in they way men and women communicate are the same at work as they are at home. Read more »

How do you tell a new potential girlfriend that you have been married before?

One of the hardest things I had found to do in the past was to tell a potential new girlfriend that I had been married before.  Divorce is embarrassing and there is little you can do directly about that except wait for that embarrassment to lesson with time.  So it is hard to reveal to a new lady friend that you were married.

There is an intense fear that she will reject you because of a previous marriage, perhaps seeing you as less of a perfect man for her.  Yet there is a burning desire to tell her because you know you can’t hide it forever.  I can tell you that the longer you wait to tell the worse it gets.  Especially if you and your new lady are starting to really like each other and falling in love.  It is very important you not get to that point before telling her.  Please don’t do that to yourself, it will make things worse.

At some point early on when dating a new potential girlfriend you will simply have to undergo the embarrassment of telling her that you were married before.  I have done this usually on a Read more »

2 child Support Cases | The Abuse of Fathers

The following are 2 actual cases involving child support.  They come from people we personally know.  No normal person is against child support but these cases prove how fathers are blatantly being used and abused by mothers.  The system is broken and truly needs fixed.  Just because a man got married, had kids and divorced should not put him in a bind beyond what is reasonably expected.  The names have been changed in these cases.  Follow them closely; it is absurd that the courts allowed this, but men have few rights when it comes to child support. Read more »

Men more likely to commit suicide after divorce, study finds

This post is a copy of an article written by Sarah Yang.  It was copywrited in 2000 by Healtheon/WebMD.  I found it pertinent becasue in my divorce it seemed that very few people, if any, had any concern at all about me or how my health or mind was affected.  I assume this was because I asked for the divorce.  This is an incorrect assumption, as even the person requesting the divorce does suffer greatly, especially if there are children involved.  The entire article is quoted. 

(WebMD) — Men seeking a good reason to salvage their marriages may want to consider this: A new study finds that Read more »

Are Divorce Courts Anti-Dad?

The headline of this post comes from Parade Magazine of July 6, 2008.  There was a small law article on needed changes in the divorce courts when dealing with dads and the custody arrangement.

Shared custody has been changing and moving toward helping dads over the last several years but it still is not perfect (nor may never be).  Around 50-percent of divorced fathers lose contact with their children after a divorce.  50-percent!  Here is another percentage to think about, 85% of divorced fathers only are Read more »